Sunday, December 26, 2010

Sometimes, somedays…

I wonder how much i'm capable of.I wonder how many more things i can excel at. Sometimes at work, when i'm doin' somethin' new and "improved" i'm always thinking about what the hell i'm gonna be learnin' in a couple years. Basically, if i'm capable of accomplishing everything i do now, with dignity and strength, than i can move on to bigger and better things in the future. I can do anything. Anything. Anything at all.

So Australia. Australia. Australia. Australia. When i earn enough dough, i will visit Edmonton for a couple weeks. Fuck around with people a little more down there. Then try and get a ride back out here, to Vancouver. And say good bye to Canada. Sounds like a solid plan. Goodnight everyone… 

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Quarter to noon

Most of the time, i feel like quitting. Who know's what has made me kept going…  tomorrow is a healing day, for sooooo many different reasons. Tomorrow is a day, i can regain my strength. Funny how we need to such strength to keep us fighting… when nothing should ever exhaust us, but only make us happier.
Status: glass half empty

Friday, December 10, 2010

P.S. !!!

December 11th tomorrow… don't think i forgot what day this was… 

FUCKING FUCKER FUCK SAKES

WHO CARES, WHO REALLY CARES… that's what this blog should be called… 
What is wrong with people? Like what is so far up people's god damn butts these days! I just. i just. I just can't figure this shit out man. Like WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THE PEOPLE AT GROCERY STORES! it's fuckign 5:00pm. and you're already acting liek a godamn priss bitch! TAKE A BREATH LADY TAKE A GOD DAMN BREATH AND THINK ABOUT WHO YOU ARE AND WHAT YOU'RE DOING
… i wonder if people write about me, like passing them on the street or soemthing. I mean what are the chances that this lady^ will ever find THIS particualr blog… pretty cool when you think about it. I mean i wonder how mnay people blog about people we know… hmm.
anyways! after standing through complete bullshit, i start laughing at her stress. i mean YOU BAG GROCERIES, it's not that hard. don't be a snoot about it. AND TO THE LADY THAT RAN ME OVER WITH YOUR CART!!!!! 
you tip'd me off after having to go through the whole bitch bagging our groceries scenario .. So i would just like to say that most of the time i don't expect apologies for stupid things like running into people or i don't knwo stupid things like that.. but YOU FUCKIGN DRAGGED ME WITH YOUR CART I THINK THAT DISSERVES A FREAKING WINK OR SOMETHING! way to be. Way to fucking give a damn. Way to fuckign stroll in this world of imbeciles. 
… jesus i need to go to bed. Work! tomorrow! 
JESUS YOU KNOW SOMETHIN' ELSE! i miss that one day. it was the weekend we got snowed in.. i had a day off after the whole weekend scenerio, and i went to the top of the mountain. and it was the most peaceful, awesome thing in the world. i just fuckign walked out and ran up the hill. to the top where the turkey vultures live. i swear we're practically buddy-buddy. Anyways. i ran into a couple deer. Made me think of going hunting. I think as human being's who used to hunt for our food, we need to kill something in our life-time to get the full satasfaction out of being a human being. 
YEAH I'M ROACKING OUT TO BILLY TALENT! geee i miss grade 7. in grade 7, billy talent was a god to me… lalalalalala i let you go. G O O D B Y E and good riddens 

Saturday, December 4, 2010

The hippo ran away with the spoon… and shit out the fork. then jumped over the moon

I should really go to school on Monday. I won't be as welcomed as i was before, mostly because i haven't gone in three weeks… It seems like a lot, but a lot has been going on. Do i need an excuse really? Anyways i should probably finish my stupid soulless, unnecessary, wicked, stupid still-life i was supposed to have completed a while ago. I should really start putting photo's up, of these things i talk about. i can't think of stupid adjectives all day… 
I have a project on my mind lately, i'm really excited about it. Mostly because i haven't created anything of my own in over a month, and it's about time to get back into the whole painting thing again. I'm doing this acrylic painting. It's really sci fi. I chose acrylic 'cause it's the brightest paint i have, and the person i'm doing it for deserves the brightest and best-est. the problem is, i don't know what my limits are herrreee… guess it's only his fault right… haha 

INSPIRATION 
Yeah, i've been looking for a lot, i mean a lot of inspiration this week.  I've been looking for a lot of answers. there's something really scary about being young, and having the world at your finger tips. I feel like it's over powering, and that i'm tripping over myself more so now that school is dissolving and my childhood is gone, and money has become my goal. I'm foccusing on money right now, because when i do realize my destiny, or whatever god forsaken thing i want to do with my life, i want to fufill it. And it's better to be loaded when you're 18, than just be starting… 
So inspiration. not only have i been talking to some people, but i'm also learning a lot about people. I'm figuring out that people can be mean and we have to figure out how to bring ourselves up from that. i figured out that people are very judgmental. They may want something a different way, or feel they have to control every second of someone else's life to fulfil their own. BASICALLY: People can't except others, it's not in our nature.We feel the need to always make an impact somehow, on whomever. So maybe us little-uns have to learn how to take it, because we are smart enough to realize it. 

SUNDAY FUN-DAY 
So, i have my first Sunday off. this means: no regret about skipping school, 'cause there aint no school, and aint no work. Basically a day to myself with no mistakes or should-of-done's in the back of my head. My soul feels free…
So tomorrow, i'm planning on going outside for most of the day. I want to go on the hike up to the beach. I may be raining but baby, it only depends on how much rain! I need this, i need the fresh air, i need to think long and hard about what i want to do about school, i need to figure out how much money i need to move, i need to think about why i'm not feeling sooooo great these last couple weeks, and i need to lye in the grass and soak up some-a-that Earth. Love everything;

p.s. before i go i just really need to get something off my chest. I'm not the greatest speaker when it comes to socializing, so i think just typing this will be the best i can do. 
I know a lot of things are happening in your life right now. I know you feel the weight of the Earth on you, i know you feel liek everything is falling apart, like the world is not so much as weighing you down, but shattering on top of you. I know that someone is making your life a living hell right now. I know that she is fighting with you. I know that you have many people close to you that make you happy. So please don't be so hard on yourself. Don't let her hurt you, and don't think that you are losing anything, 'cause i know that you have many many many many people who care and love you. You're smile is the only one that brightens my day. And i hope that after this month you realize how much you have after losing so little. I hope that all your wishes come true for you and your loved ones. And i want to tell you how talented, educated, humorous and bright you are. You are a brilliant person, please don't let anything take that away. (Paul)

Thursday, December 2, 2010

I would like to post something… something serious

i don't know what it is, if it's the fact that i'm an Aries, or that i was raised into a supportive, caring family; but, i get put down by the stupidest things people say. I know they don't mean it in all seriousness, and i know that they down't realize how their saying it, so i just let it slip. But, it hurts me. Sometimes for a couple minutes, sometimes for days. And whatever you said i will always replay it in my mind, and wonder how i could of changed your reaction… BUT I'M SAYING THIS! I'M SAYING THAT I SHOULDN'T BE THE ONE IN TROUBLE HERE! this is your fault, you fault for being so negative. Your fault for choosing the words you chose. I just wish you gave this as much thought as I do. Because i don't know how long i can take it. One of these days, i'm gonna fucking die inside… 

ON A NEW SUBJECT
Emily Larone
staus: drop out

… figure that one out yourselves  

I moved out!

I'm so calm with this "big move" it scares me.  It'll all sink in eventually…