Monday, October 25, 2010

Vancouver Blood

So this Sunday my sister had a course on Physchosematics energetics, atleast i think that's how you spell it… 
That's besides the point, so it was my momma, brotha, and sista and we had a pretty good time. i felt like it was the perfect vacation for me and to connect with my family. 
Sooooo, i don't feel like typing but i did just wanna say that I enjoyed vancouver and that i feel closer to my family more than ever, well at least since i moved out of my sister's place… 
ANYWAYS see you! :)

Thursday, October 21, 2010

harbour happiness

So I'm thinking about all the things i wish i could say to you guys, at work. Something to say that would sum up how grateful i am for everyone i've met ever since i started working there. Never thought i'd get a job on Salt Spring, it was always just the place to visit my mom when i was in the dumps. But ever since i left my home, Edmonton; left my friends who have grown apart and set off into the world, left my home i grew up in and have so many memories with, left everything. BI never knew what real pain felt like till my life turned upside down. Never knew how many bad things could happen with a couple drinks and bad choices. Never knew that insomnia was never good for my tears. Never thought we would of been eating dinner as a family with what furniture we had left. We used boxes for chairs and a table that replaced our big one. the one we used to use at Christmas when the whole family would come out. But we had used a small 2x2 square wooden one we got from my Dad. Eating soup and all thinking about how sad this all is. How sad the next day was going to be when we split up.
Anyways… I guess i'm just trying to find the words to express how i feel now, the words to express how many things i've learned ever since getting hired here, things that have helped me recover after all these months of, "misery".
I know none of you know me well enough, i mean it's only been like a month/half, you just knwo me as the "Quirky smirky" (i hat ethat by the way) that's besides the point. I haven't smiled this much in a long time, and i thank you so much. I realized this week, imean i learned something and i've grown a lot this week. It's picked me up an inch, and that one inch has given me all the hope in the world to grow a meter. So thakn you for being so nice, thank you for being so humble, so funny, and so memorable. thank you "front-desk-people" for being super duper nice and having conversations with me in the morning and when i leave.
thank you for accepting me you guys. I hope i stay for a while because i really like who I've become ever since. I haven't dared to go back to my dark times, and i'm really tirning my life around. history may come back again and again, But, it doesn't matter, i'm in a different province on an island meeting wonderful people. and about to begin a new confident life of my own.
This barely sums up how grateful i am for all of you, but i wish you truly knew…

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Week to Remember

I sometimes think about all the funny things that have happened to us, olivia and I. Mostly about the time that we went to get free coffee for no apparent reason other than to probably skip out on another leadership class. We were standing at the busy bus stop laughing really hard at the fact that you don't even like coffee. You were wondering why people drink that "crap". You were playing with the coffee cup, saying how much coffee they poured. It was to the brim. You took the lid off for some idiotic reason. Lucky for us, some dude decides to do some fucking Karate in the middle of downtown on a busy sidewalk. Indescribable, but i look back on this a lot, and it a l w a y s makes me laugh. I called it "the-funniest-thing-ever-seen-downtown" And i stand by that. All 17 years in the city, and i have never seen something so… weird. we laughed so hard you had to put your brim-filled-boiling-hot coffee on the sidewalk before you spilt it all over yourself, and get first degree burns… or the time when we were fighting about something, really intensely, and the key board traveled down the top of the computer to the table to the chair then to the floor at the slowest speed possible. We put aside the yelling, and watched it fall like a slinky for honestly 30 seconds straight, in silence. Afterwards we forgot what we were talking about, then remembered we were late for Chemistry.
remember the first time we kinda Officially met. On the greyhound in Victoria on the Bamfield trip. You said you took karate. yata yata yata. yeah funny w.e. The naked-hobo blanket you kept throwing at me. Renata, who didn't were a bra. everyone snickering. BLAH BLAH BLAH.

Klaire… Junior high wouldn't be the same without you. You were my buddy budster in Junior high. but it wasn't always easy. Swear to god i'm still sorry 'bout the time i was friends with Ashley and we fucking made fun of you and shit. Still don't understand what drugs i was on…
either way i'm glad we came out of junior high, grown up, and still full of the most happiest memories of my life. I love you Klaire, you are sucha sweetheart. Miss cheerleading 'cause i always got to hang out with you afterwards and we used to go out and get food and talk for hours about how much we hated the twins, and what we wanted to do when we grow up. or how i had to choose between two guys. and we would be sitting at 10pm. in a mc.donalds. My ghetto phone on the table waiting for texts form both guys. and we;d create a pro, con list . ahahah geeeee, how smart. Instead we just raved about how much that phone could withstand anything. we were like throwing it at the wall and across the restaurant. it didn't matter of course cause e knew the people who worked there… Seriously i miss talking with you. Having nothing to do all day, and being able to just talk about ANYTHING and everything, knowing that they other person would respect whatever whatever you had to say. You are a true friend to me. And i'm realizing that now, that i look back. you were a really good friend to me. You still are, even if we can't have those old hang out's anymore.

Anyways… i guess i'm trying to say taht i care 'bout you guys. And i want your lives to be even greater then you have ever hoped for. I hope you all get what you want, and have ever dreamed of. I may of never said this 'cause well.. it's corny i mean who says shit like this, ever? But really You guys are the greatest friends i could of ever hoped for. And since our lives have taken different courses, i just wanted to make this, so that you know that we can still care for each other even if we don't get to hang out anymore, you know? I guess this "thing", i guess.. i 'm just hoping it makes up for lost time.
You guys are each different. And i love each of you for everything you are and for everything you have given me. You will never be forgotten, because you guys were the friends who i had while goign through highS and juniorS. And you gave me all the happiest memories. I will never forget you, ever. And you have only given me the happiest of memories. And i hope i gave you yours

I guess i'm just parting ways with good memories/words. But always keep in touch, even if were worlds a part. :) thanks guys

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

The Blow - True Affection (HD)

A Poem Called Clementine

Leaves do fall,
And so do we.
Everything falls,
And nothing can see.
When it happens,
It's sharp, and falls like a leaf.
When leaves fall,
so do one of "we".