WHO CARES, WHO REALLY CARES… that's what this blog should be called…
What is wrong with people? Like what is so far up people's god damn butts these days! I just. i just. I just can't figure this shit out man. Like WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THE PEOPLE AT GROCERY STORES! it's fuckign 5:00pm. and you're already acting liek a godamn priss bitch! TAKE A BREATH LADY TAKE A GOD DAMN BREATH AND THINK ABOUT WHO YOU ARE AND WHAT YOU'RE DOING
… i wonder if people write about me, like passing them on the street or soemthing. I mean what are the chances that this lady^ will ever find THIS particualr blog… pretty cool when you think about it. I mean i wonder how mnay people blog about people we know… hmm.
anyways! after standing through complete bullshit, i start laughing at her stress. i mean YOU BAG GROCERIES, it's not that hard. don't be a snoot about it. AND TO THE LADY THAT RAN ME OVER WITH YOUR CART!!!!!
you tip'd me off after having to go through the whole bitch bagging our groceries scenario .. So i would just like to say that most of the time i don't expect apologies for stupid things like running into people or i don't knwo stupid things like that.. but YOU FUCKIGN DRAGGED ME WITH YOUR CART I THINK THAT DISSERVES A FREAKING WINK OR SOMETHING! way to be. Way to fucking give a damn. Way to fuckign stroll in this world of imbeciles.
… jesus i need to go to bed. Work! tomorrow!
JESUS YOU KNOW SOMETHIN' ELSE! i miss that one day. it was the weekend we got snowed in.. i had a day off after the whole weekend scenerio, and i went to the top of the mountain. and it was the most peaceful, awesome thing in the world. i just fuckign walked out and ran up the hill. to the top where the turkey vultures live. i swear we're practically buddy-buddy. Anyways. i ran into a couple deer. Made me think of going hunting. I think as human being's who used to hunt for our food, we need to kill something in our life-time to get the full satasfaction out of being a human being.
YEAH I'M ROACKING OUT TO BILLY TALENT! geee i miss grade 7. in grade 7, billy talent was a god to me… lalalalalala i let you go. G O O D B Y E and good riddens
Friday, December 10, 2010
Monday, December 6, 2010
Saturday, December 4, 2010
The hippo ran away with the spoon… and shit out the fork. then jumped over the moon
I should really go to school on Monday. I won't be as welcomed as i was before, mostly because i haven't gone in three weeks… It seems like a lot, but a lot has been going on. Do i need an excuse really? Anyways i should probably finish my stupid soulless, unnecessary, wicked, stupid still-life i was supposed to have completed a while ago. I should really start putting photo's up, of these things i talk about. i can't think of stupid adjectives all day…
I have a project on my mind lately, i'm really excited about it. Mostly because i haven't created anything of my own in over a month, and it's about time to get back into the whole painting thing again. I'm doing this acrylic painting. It's really sci fi. I chose acrylic 'cause it's the brightest paint i have, and the person i'm doing it for deserves the brightest and best-est. the problem is, i don't know what my limits are herrreee… guess it's only his fault right… haha
INSPIRATION
Yeah, i've been looking for a lot, i mean a lot of inspiration this week. I've been looking for a lot of answers. there's something really scary about being young, and having the world at your finger tips. I feel like it's over powering, and that i'm tripping over myself more so now that school is dissolving and my childhood is gone, and money has become my goal. I'm foccusing on money right now, because when i do realize my destiny, or whatever god forsaken thing i want to do with my life, i want to fufill it. And it's better to be loaded when you're 18, than just be starting…
So inspiration. not only have i been talking to some people, but i'm also learning a lot about people. I'm figuring out that people can be mean and we have to figure out how to bring ourselves up from that. i figured out that people are very judgmental. They may want something a different way, or feel they have to control every second of someone else's life to fulfil their own. BASICALLY: People can't except others, it's not in our nature.We feel the need to always make an impact somehow, on whomever. So maybe us little-uns have to learn how to take it, because we are smart enough to realize it.
SUNDAY FUN-DAY
So, i have my first Sunday off. this means: no regret about skipping school, 'cause there aint no school, and aint no work. Basically a day to myself with no mistakes or should-of-done's in the back of my head. My soul feels free…
So tomorrow, i'm planning on going outside for most of the day. I want to go on the hike up to the beach. I may be raining but baby, it only depends on how much rain! I need this, i need the fresh air, i need to think long and hard about what i want to do about school, i need to figure out how much money i need to move, i need to think about why i'm not feeling sooooo great these last couple weeks, and i need to lye in the grass and soak up some-a-that Earth. Love everything;
p.s. before i go i just really need to get something off my chest. I'm not the greatest speaker when it comes to socializing, so i think just typing this will be the best i can do.
I know a lot of things are happening in your life right now. I know you feel the weight of the Earth on you, i know you feel liek everything is falling apart, like the world is not so much as weighing you down, but shattering on top of you. I know that someone is making your life a living hell right now. I know that she is fighting with you. I know that you have many people close to you that make you happy. So please don't be so hard on yourself. Don't let her hurt you, and don't think that you are losing anything, 'cause i know that you have many many many many people who care and love you. You're smile is the only one that brightens my day. And i hope that after this month you realize how much you have after losing so little. I hope that all your wishes come true for you and your loved ones. And i want to tell you how talented, educated, humorous and bright you are. You are a brilliant person, please don't let anything take that away. (Paul)
I have a project on my mind lately, i'm really excited about it. Mostly because i haven't created anything of my own in over a month, and it's about time to get back into the whole painting thing again. I'm doing this acrylic painting. It's really sci fi. I chose acrylic 'cause it's the brightest paint i have, and the person i'm doing it for deserves the brightest and best-est. the problem is, i don't know what my limits are herrreee… guess it's only his fault right… haha
INSPIRATION
Yeah, i've been looking for a lot, i mean a lot of inspiration this week. I've been looking for a lot of answers. there's something really scary about being young, and having the world at your finger tips. I feel like it's over powering, and that i'm tripping over myself more so now that school is dissolving and my childhood is gone, and money has become my goal. I'm foccusing on money right now, because when i do realize my destiny, or whatever god forsaken thing i want to do with my life, i want to fufill it. And it's better to be loaded when you're 18, than just be starting…
So inspiration. not only have i been talking to some people, but i'm also learning a lot about people. I'm figuring out that people can be mean and we have to figure out how to bring ourselves up from that. i figured out that people are very judgmental. They may want something a different way, or feel they have to control every second of someone else's life to fulfil their own. BASICALLY: People can't except others, it's not in our nature.We feel the need to always make an impact somehow, on whomever. So maybe us little-uns have to learn how to take it, because we are smart enough to realize it.
SUNDAY FUN-DAY
So, i have my first Sunday off. this means: no regret about skipping school, 'cause there aint no school, and aint no work. Basically a day to myself with no mistakes or should-of-done's in the back of my head. My soul feels free…
So tomorrow, i'm planning on going outside for most of the day. I want to go on the hike up to the beach. I may be raining but baby, it only depends on how much rain! I need this, i need the fresh air, i need to think long and hard about what i want to do about school, i need to figure out how much money i need to move, i need to think about why i'm not feeling sooooo great these last couple weeks, and i need to lye in the grass and soak up some-a-that Earth. Love everything;
p.s. before i go i just really need to get something off my chest. I'm not the greatest speaker when it comes to socializing, so i think just typing this will be the best i can do.
I know a lot of things are happening in your life right now. I know you feel the weight of the Earth on you, i know you feel liek everything is falling apart, like the world is not so much as weighing you down, but shattering on top of you. I know that someone is making your life a living hell right now. I know that she is fighting with you. I know that you have many people close to you that make you happy. So please don't be so hard on yourself. Don't let her hurt you, and don't think that you are losing anything, 'cause i know that you have many many many many people who care and love you. You're smile is the only one that brightens my day. And i hope that after this month you realize how much you have after losing so little. I hope that all your wishes come true for you and your loved ones. And i want to tell you how talented, educated, humorous and bright you are. You are a brilliant person, please don't let anything take that away. (Paul)
Thursday, December 2, 2010
I would like to post something… something serious
i don't know what it is, if it's the fact that i'm an Aries, or that i was raised into a supportive, caring family; but, i get put down by the stupidest things people say. I know they don't mean it in all seriousness, and i know that they down't realize how their saying it, so i just let it slip. But, it hurts me. Sometimes for a couple minutes, sometimes for days. And whatever you said i will always replay it in my mind, and wonder how i could of changed your reaction… BUT I'M SAYING THIS! I'M SAYING THAT I SHOULDN'T BE THE ONE IN TROUBLE HERE! this is your fault, you fault for being so negative. Your fault for choosing the words you chose. I just wish you gave this as much thought as I do. Because i don't know how long i can take it. One of these days, i'm gonna fucking die inside…
ON A NEW SUBJECT
Emily Larone
staus: drop out
… figure that one out yourselves
Friday, November 19, 2010
GAGA FOR PRADA
Wow, way to speak the truth Emily. way to speak the truth. Never once have you been so honest with yourself, i'm really proud… of myself. Good bye World
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Martini wieners
You know i figured something out today, i mean i'm all worried about my 18th birthday, 'cause everybody usually has a really great time drinking n all. and as much as that would be fun. I have no one i truly want to see right now. I mean everyone has moved on… anyways, despite all my regular plans, i mean i was gonna go skiing with a couple friends, but seeing as how my friends really don't give shit about anything these days, they'd rather smoke it up, or devote their teen years to their mom's. So i decided that when i turn 18 i'm gonna do something for me, something I can enjoy, something i know will make my 18th memorable and honourable. I want ot go to Australia and work there. i want to leave this place, this atmosphere. I want to enjoy myself, by myself and make a name for myself. I want to grow up and move on like everyone has done, only in a different way. I'm not completely sure if Australia will be my choice but iw ill leave some day, in March or April. i'd like it to be on my birthday, mostly 'cause i don't want to face all the "How's your 18th?" Bullshit. So here's too all you fuckers who never gave a shit. I'm leaving to a place where no one knows me, where I'm not near any of you, and not even close to snow. I want to make a name for myself. somewhere else. 'cause i know. that right now, where i am right now is just not the place i am meant to be. So spare me..
This is a "FUCK YOU" blog..
FUCK YOU! hell yeah i'm mad, how could I not be?
GOD DAMNIT, everything sucks; I'm just gonna save up and fucking make my life in a third world country, where people are happy and there's less SHIT going on… yeah!
FUCK YOUUUUUUU! i got my life under control too no need to FUCKING MAKE ME FEEL ASHAMED OF IT!
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
I fucking hate shading now…
Met a nice grade 10 'er today. had the best chocolate croissant in the world. And thought about my Ex boyfriend. Feels weird to say boyfriend, 'cause i never liked referring to you that way. Ever. But yeah i was think about you today, Shawn. I miss you. A piece inside me hopes you haven't met anyone, partly 'cause i like where we are right now, and having you with someone else… i think that'll complicate things. But mostly because it's hard to deal with the fact. the fact that someone else will kiss you. mmmmmm kissing.
Fuck mocha's - are those girly drinks? From now on i will order the americano be like all those bad ass old guys.
Anyways, i have to finishing shading this stupid picture for stupid art class. JK art class isn't stupid. It's stability in my eyes, at least i haven't given up yet and ran back to Edmonton.. yeaaaaaaaaa not yet.
Sorry this blog was lame. Really lame...
Fuck mocha's - are those girly drinks? From now on i will order the americano be like all those bad ass old guys.
Anyways, i have to finishing shading this stupid picture for stupid art class. JK art class isn't stupid. It's stability in my eyes, at least i haven't given up yet and ran back to Edmonton.. yeaaaaaaaaa not yet.
Sorry this blog was lame. Really lame...
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Let's all go poo in public washrooms today…
No time to fret guy's! So my dad came to visita couple days ago, and we had a long conversation about… everything.
But i want everyone to know something, i want you all to know that you should all deal with your problems head on RIGHT THEN, and then when the problem is resolved move on, keep going on with your day! forget it ever happened. MAKE NEW HAPPY MEMORIES THAT DAY rather than fret over that one little problem that's been buggin you. If someone said something that bothered you, confront it in a polite manner, get it dealt with! it's 99.9% not a big deal anywayss.. COMMON GUYS NO NEED TO OVER THINK THIS!
DEAL WITH YOUR FUCKING PROBLEMS RIGHT THERE AND THEN! AFTERWARDS MOVE ON AS IF NOTHING HAS HAPPENED AND YOU ARE FREE AND HAPPY AND CLEAR OF WHATEVER IT WAS THAT WAS MAKING YOU WORRY! LIVE YOU GUYS, FUCKIGN LIVE! AND LOVE… AND SMILE… AND DON'T LIEK THE LITTLE THINGS GET THE BEST OF YOU!
That's how animals live, that's how we shoudl too. Be happy, be loving, be freeee :)
love you guys, if i didn't i wouldn't tell you my happiness secrets ;) goodluck with all your life aspirations and hope that all your dreams come true!
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
I feel like belching my fucking brains out…
I'm not gonna lie, i've had a ruff year, 2010 is almost over and i think that 2011 will give me a new take on life and a while new perspective on everything. 2010 was crazy. Neve again will i go through that shit, never again… I am only human.
today i got told by the chef about how i "talk back". He said it too nicely, so nicely that i could tell he was trying to make it seem as if it wasn't a a serious topic of discussion. But i know what he said, i know how he meant it, and i appreciate that he doesn't want to be too stern on the topic. But if he's serious about it then he should tell me. I may be a girl and i may only be 17, but i know how to take it. Everyone will shut down after they hear bad criticism, it's how you shut down, it's how you act the next day, it's what you say to that person afterwards.
Do i mean to come off that way? COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY NOT
when you tell me to do something, and i say something like "absolutely" or "for sure"-i mean it. I'm not saying it to make it seem like i don't respect you. I respect you more for being who you are, and for being as open as you are. I respect many things about you. Everything.. for that matter. You treat all your employees with respect, and i want you to know that i respect you in the same manner.
I'm really quiet at first, and i understand how that effects me, and how others see me. When i start talking, everything i say is suddenly heard by everyone else. Everything i say is kinda taken into questioning or always studied. I'm sorry for starting to feel open with you guys, i just thought that since you are all open with each other that i could be as well. It's OK though, i mean it; i like you guys and i like my job and i am grateful for it as much as you guys might be… I want to do great things
>>>onto a topic that is less hard to type emotionally. I mean what i said up there is kinda the point i was trying to make, but not really… i don't really know what point i'm trying to make…
Anyway's, i started school. I'm doing an art class at the high school here… big whoop? not really
i just hope it helps me in the end, and shows to serve a purpose and that purpose is to MEET PEOPLE! I'm tired of all this fukcing attitude i get from people, when i say that i don't know anyone… gosh darnet.
Anyhoo, i'm tired. 5:30 am wake up call for the next 3 days. I wonder if i did my homework at the harbour house, they wouldn't mind… in other words.. they wouldn't JUDGE me. I mean common i would actually really love it. I love the lighting and the space and the good people i could get to see. I wonder if they have wifi though? I'll seeeeeeeeeeeeee! GOOD NIGHT! and i hope all the best to everyone, and i hope you all learn from the mistakes you've made, and make lots more mistakes to learn from. AND I WISH YOU MORE HAPPINESS THEN I EVER HAD! If i could give the last ounces of happiness i had, away; I would give my happiness to someone else so that it could add to how much they have already, to make their life greater than it could ever possibly be…
today i got told by the chef about how i "talk back". He said it too nicely, so nicely that i could tell he was trying to make it seem as if it wasn't a a serious topic of discussion. But i know what he said, i know how he meant it, and i appreciate that he doesn't want to be too stern on the topic. But if he's serious about it then he should tell me. I may be a girl and i may only be 17, but i know how to take it. Everyone will shut down after they hear bad criticism, it's how you shut down, it's how you act the next day, it's what you say to that person afterwards.
Do i mean to come off that way? COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY NOT
when you tell me to do something, and i say something like "absolutely" or "for sure"-i mean it. I'm not saying it to make it seem like i don't respect you. I respect you more for being who you are, and for being as open as you are. I respect many things about you. Everything.. for that matter. You treat all your employees with respect, and i want you to know that i respect you in the same manner.
I'm really quiet at first, and i understand how that effects me, and how others see me. When i start talking, everything i say is suddenly heard by everyone else. Everything i say is kinda taken into questioning or always studied. I'm sorry for starting to feel open with you guys, i just thought that since you are all open with each other that i could be as well. It's OK though, i mean it; i like you guys and i like my job and i am grateful for it as much as you guys might be… I want to do great things
>>>onto a topic that is less hard to type emotionally. I mean what i said up there is kinda the point i was trying to make, but not really… i don't really know what point i'm trying to make…
Anyway's, i started school. I'm doing an art class at the high school here… big whoop? not really
i just hope it helps me in the end, and shows to serve a purpose and that purpose is to MEET PEOPLE! I'm tired of all this fukcing attitude i get from people, when i say that i don't know anyone… gosh darnet.
Anyhoo, i'm tired. 5:30 am wake up call for the next 3 days. I wonder if i did my homework at the harbour house, they wouldn't mind… in other words.. they wouldn't JUDGE me. I mean common i would actually really love it. I love the lighting and the space and the good people i could get to see. I wonder if they have wifi though? I'll seeeeeeeeeeeeee! GOOD NIGHT! and i hope all the best to everyone, and i hope you all learn from the mistakes you've made, and make lots more mistakes to learn from. AND I WISH YOU MORE HAPPINESS THEN I EVER HAD! If i could give the last ounces of happiness i had, away; I would give my happiness to someone else so that it could add to how much they have already, to make their life greater than it could ever possibly be…
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
I hate myself
since when does school become a social game?
And since when does socks and ugg boots become the style. I started that.
Adn since when did pie taste so good?
FUCK!
So i went to the school here. Again. Life sucks when you're scared.
But it's as if, no matter how mnay times you tell yourself all these "good quotes" You'll never feel better about yourself. It's in our blood to be scared. There's nothing that can help that. Nothing!
We are all running scared, it's impossible not to be really…
What am i talkign about? what is this? Why! Why the hell do i still run scared. I'm a mature 17 year old who is graduating and you're fucking scared? Why?
It seems that all us "highschool" folks, go on yahoo answers and ask everyone what to do, when you're going to a new highschool. FUCK ALL THEIR ANSWERS! You can only helps yourself. friends can help you too. Go ahead TALK to your friends, that's what they're there for.
God i miss my old life. this is fucking crazy. this life… FUCKIGN CRAZY
oh my god…
And since when does socks and ugg boots become the style. I started that.
Adn since when did pie taste so good?
FUCK!
So i went to the school here. Again. Life sucks when you're scared.
But it's as if, no matter how mnay times you tell yourself all these "good quotes" You'll never feel better about yourself. It's in our blood to be scared. There's nothing that can help that. Nothing!
We are all running scared, it's impossible not to be really…
What am i talkign about? what is this? Why! Why the hell do i still run scared. I'm a mature 17 year old who is graduating and you're fucking scared? Why?
It seems that all us "highschool" folks, go on yahoo answers and ask everyone what to do, when you're going to a new highschool. FUCK ALL THEIR ANSWERS! You can only helps yourself. friends can help you too. Go ahead TALK to your friends, that's what they're there for.
God i miss my old life. this is fucking crazy. this life… FUCKIGN CRAZY
oh my god…